The Funhouse

[Jazzy]

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Dear Colgate...

Now that you have added salt and lemon...

Let us know when you add TEQUILLA so we can brush 8 times a day!!!

[ctaulbee]

[topmeasure]

[Wrench]

[VincentLupo]

[chouette]

OMG, that's too funny!! lol

[Jazzy]

Don't run with bagpipes.

You could get an AYE out.

Or worse yet, get KILT.

[Jazzy]

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[ctaulbee]

[VincentLupo]

[chouette]

Oh my, hope she's gone for awhile, lol

[Jazzy]

So... you mean to tell me that a stress ball is not for throwing at people that stress you out!

[Jazzy]

I just got pulled by a cop and he asked me if I had a police record....

Apparently "ROXANNE" was not a good answer..

[ctaulbee]

[Jazzy]

English is a crazy language

There is no EGG in EGGPLANT nor HAM in HAMBURGER;  neither APPLE nor PINE in PINEAPPLE. ENGLISH MUFFINS weren't invented in ENGLAND.  QUICKSAND can work SLOWLY, BOXING RINGS are SQUARE, and a GUINEAPIG is neither fron GUINEA nor a PIG.

And why is that WRITERS WRITE but FINGERS don't FING, GROCERS don't GROCE and HAMMERS don't HAM?
Doesn't seem crazy that you can make AMENDS but not one AMEND?  If TEACHERS TAUGHT, why didn't PREACHERS PRAUGHT?  If a VEGETARIAN eats VEGETABLES, what does a HUMANITARIAN eat?

In what other language do people RECITE at a PLAY and PLAY at a RECITAL?  We SHIP BY TRUCK but SEND CARGO BY SHIP.  We have NOSES that RUN and FEET that SMELL.  We PARK in a DRIVEWAY and DRIVE in a PARKWAY.

And how can a SLIM CHANCE and a FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and a WISE GUY be opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy in which your HOUSE can BURN UP as it BURNS DOWN, in which you FILL IN a form by FILLING IT OUT, and in which an ALARM goes OFF by going ON.

And, in closing, if FATHER is POP, how come MOTHER'S not MOP?

[ctaulbee]

[VincentLupo]

[chouette]

[Jazzy]

[Wrench]

Yea Right! NOT

[topmeasure]

[Jazzy]

Hitting the gym to release stress not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with...

[chouette]

So true.

[ctaulbee]

Yup  

[topmeasure]

Words to live by.